There is definitely a distinct buzz around a book store, a quiet one at that but a definite sound. With a mix of page turners, the quiet tune hummers browsing shelves and hands flicking over book spines, if you sit for long enough the noise becomes harmonious. Today I did something “Arty” as my father would call it; I sat in a bookshop coffee store and took in the world around me and wrote- how very J.K. Rowling. Nothing to philosophical or profound just thoughts surrounding the book store, watching people pass by, the little boy in the corner systematically pulling all the books out to find “ Narnia” and from that 15 minutes you witness so much of people’s everyday lives. A table of women gossiping, three generations spending an afternoon together and two business men meeting to discuss presentations. To be a photographer must be an interesting occupation; capturing people’s expressions and emotions in one moment.
This moment of reflection followed a lovely afternoon with a good friend from university, back in my student town of Cirencester. After coffee and a chat about the ‘dark days’ that shadowed finishing uni and the struggle of working out what do with your life following that fun and alcohol-filled university career, it was at this moment that a realisation hit me pretty hard. It is okay if you have no idea where you want to go or what you want to do, you’ll get there.
“University will be some of the best years of your life”, this statement rings as true today as it did when past generations and family members began their studies many years ago. For me, I grew up listening to stories told by my father of his adolescent days spent at college, with his particular favourite being the time he and a group of friends removed the wheels of an old mini and carried it into the refectory to await the return of its disgruntled owner. Being a recent graduate of an agricultural university I to have a fair few stories that I hope to tell my children in years to come.
However what most people fail to mention is the aftermath, the period of being and feeling lost. This is the stage that I had sadly fallen into, where suddenly the security of student living and your friends being close by has vanished, you don’t know which path to take and reality very quickly comes crashing down around you. Almost instantly you feel like your life should have one of those loading bars over it, just waiting to see what’s about to spring up.
On reflection, speaking to various members of my family and friends, it turns out I wasn’t alone in this feeling. A cousin had left her university career not knowing what path to head down and a friend who was struggling to see a way out of the occupation they had chosen, all felt the same lost feeling. I received so much support from my family but as pointed out by mother only a few days ago- different generations have different feelings and work ethics. It’s not that this generation doesn’t work as hard as the past but nowadays It’s harder to secure a career and easier to travel so more people see the world, gain experience and take the time to figure out the ‘next step,’ and this does provide some- friction, we’ll call it friction- when discussing the future with parents. None the less, the support is there and you need only ask, not just family but friends and colleagues as well.
I watched a number of my friends head off into the wide world not long after we graduated some heading to some pretty amazing jobs in some pretty spectacular locations and from here jealousy brewed. What do they have that I don’t, why did I not decide that was the path I wanted. After I finished university I headed to Dorset with my boyfriend and started earning some money after a long three financially difficult years at university by working in a gastro pub. Whenever telling people what I was doing I almost felt embarrassed like they were going to judge my decisions; “why haven’t you started your career yet?” “What was the point in studying at university for three years if you aren’t utilising your degree?” This feeling started to get me down after a while and I became unsure of where my next path would start and where it would lead. But after many phone calls home, a few failed job applications and a lovely afternoon coffee in Cirencester, I realised I was on completely the correct path. I was still making money, I was still making connections and I was allowing myself time to process and work out what I wanted to do and what I enjoyed most; writing. This time has given me some experiences that I didn’t think I would gain. I managed to be a part of the press team at Horse of the Year show, an experience I shall never forget, I have managed to do a little bit of travelling of the west coast and hopefully soon Vienna and I have made a new circle of friends some I hope to keep in touch with in years to come.
So, the job I am doing now isn’t my career but I am starting to find my feet, and an application has been sent off to hopefully pursue an internship in New York. The future is one of excitement and unknown journeys, just like those of the people sat in this book shop, page turning and coffee drinking and if you are reading this and you feel like you’ve gone through a similar situation there are people you can always speak to; career advisors, family and friends. I am a strong believer in my mum’s catch phrase- “feel the fear and do it anyway.”
